Monthly Archives: February 2015

Intricasies of love


I was never prepared for this.
This game that some folks call love.
I did not know that I could suddenly and unexpectedly be caught in the web of love.
I thought I was so strong, so bold and so courageous to be conquered by love.

But, look at me now.
I sing love, eat love, drink love and sleep love.
Love has become the language that I speak.
Love has taken over the better part of my body.
Love, and not blood, now runs through my veins.

I don’t get time to hate anymore.
I’m even shocked I was able to spell that word, because it is no more in my dictionary.

I didn’t know love could do me any harm, until it paralyzed me.
It pinned me down.
It restricted my movement, just to show me that it is now ruling my body.

I wish I could get a cure.
I wish there is, but I’m not sure.
Sometimes I scream in my dream, till I see streams of tears in my eyes.
Why is love so heavy a burden to carry?


I Chased Love, But Found Something Else. Prt 3

All too soon, we’ve come to the end of our story. Oh sorry, that’s my story, and not yours. I don’t think you would like to be part of this not-so-good story. Well, since this is the final part, I wouldn’t like to bore you with long vague talks. Let’s get down to business.
As I said earlier, something dramatic happened in the house, just when I was about to leave. I heard a noise in the house.
So there is someone here in the house all this while? Who could this be? Her dad? Her mum? Her crazy brother, her not-too-friendly sister or herself?
My only prayer was that it wouldn’t be the dad. I have heard a lot from the grapevine about him. He’s such a heartless man. So mean. Very calous. So unfriendly. Never smiling. Full of himself. I guess the only good thing about him is that, he has managed to give birth to a beautiful ‘angel.’
I stood there, restlessly waiting to see who will come out of the house. I was only hoping and praying that it will be my ‘angel.’ Lo and behold, when the gate opened, it was her. She gave me a smile, and for a moment I felt like a statue. I stood there motionless and speechless. I couldn’t comprehend and apprehend her beauty. Her eyes, so white and sexy. Her face, so cute and pretty. I couldn’t take my eyes away from her. In short, she was just wow.
She invited me into her house, gave me a seat to sit on, and offered me a drink (mmm what a courteous lady, I thought). She apologised for keeping me waiting outside. Her excuse? She felt a bit dizzy, so she decided to rest a little. (I guess she must be suffering from lack of vitamin “Me”, in her body)
“Oh sorry, dear”, I said, “now that I am here with you, you shall be well.” “I hear you, and thanks for your company, and kind words, mister,” she said.
“Mister?” Is that all I get for taking such a risk to come to her house? I was hoping to hear something like “honey”, “darling” or “sweety.” Ewww, this lady is so so not romantic. But I kept my cool, and forced a smile on my face.
I had purposed in my heart, and carved it on my mind that I will not leave “empty-handed.” I started thinking about my well-thought-out plan to win her heart. I could see and feel that she was falling for me, but she didn’t want to say it. I also had fallen in love with her, but I was too afraid to tell her, because I thought she may reject my proposal.
Hmmm…A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. I decided to take the bold step. I knelt down before her-just like they do in the movies- and told her those three powerful words, (I love you) and quickly followed with these romantic words, “Honey, I want to write your name across my heart, for the whole world to know that you are mine.”
Her face changed? Yes. Did she faint? Oh no. Did she smile? Not really. What did she say then? She answered me by saying this, ” why did it take you so long to say this to me? You are too little too late. I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do about it. You are a nice person, but I’m already engaged. I hope you find another girl so caring and kind like me. But we could still be friends, though.”
Whaaaat?!!! Is this really happening to me? So she knew she was engaged and still entertained me? Why is everyone playing with my fragile heart? I decided to get up and go. There’s no point staying long, because her parents have just called to inform her that they were coming home. I didn’t want to meet her wicked dad, crazy brother, anti-social sister and indifferent mum. Just when I stood up to go, she burst out laughing. I asked why, and she confessed she was just kiding. There was no one, and that she has accepted my proposal. This girl is funny too.
She hugged me so tightly, looked straight into my eyes, and gave me a quick kiss.
She told me that was her first kiss. I thought to myself, “then I have to make it a memorable one.” I also pulled her head gently towards me, and gave her a deep loooooong kiss. Mmmm…it was so sweet we couldn’t stop, so we landed in the sofa. Just as I was about to “come out and express myself”- don’t ask me what that means, the door opened.
There stood the man, my lady’s wicked dad. At that moment, I wish the earth could just open and swallow me, but it only remained a wish. How the hell am I going to escape from this man? I can’t fight him. He’s just too strong for me.
Just when this man was about to strike, I felt someone tapping my shoulders. I turned, and it was my little nephew, Kwabota, waking me up to tell me food is ready. What a Saviour! Under normal circumstance, I would have given him a knock on his face for waking me up, but in this instance, I smiled and actually shook his hands. I didn’t tell him why, but I thanked him for waking me up. What a bitter-sweet dream!
I don’t know how real such dreams can be. I only hope I find the lady of my dream without any of these atrocities.

Crazy little thing Called love



Oh, how funny it can be sometimes when you love somebody but can’t tell him or her. It gets even weird when you are friends, but you don’t want to be just friends, rather, you want to be lovers. The scariest part is when you’ve lost the courage to tell him/her, simply because you are afraid your proposal may not be accepted.
Well, this is the deep ‘shit’ I found myself in. But if I want something, and I don’t go for it, how can I get it? So I finally took the decision, after being friends with her for five fruitful years, to tell her.
I used to love myself. Oh yeah, very much. I loved myself so much so that I didn’t do anything that would hurt me.
Then she came. She stole my heart. I warned her my heart is fragile, but she promised to take good care of it. She told me, “I love you.” And the way she said it with all seriousness, made me believe her.
I was reluctant at first, but later gave her my all (heart, mind, body and soul). That’s extreme, you say? Wait till you hear what Romeo gave to Juliet.
She became my “mistress”, and pampered me. She showed me love and I also did. She cared for me, and I also did. I focused all my time and attention on her, but I’m not quite sure she did the same for me.
Then, things started to retrogress. She preached about virtue, but practised vice. She couldn’t walk the talk. She only loved me with her words, but did a different thing. I became sad. I became thin. I became lonely. I felt “unloveable”. I felt horrible. I felt miserable.
I started to take a second look at this crazy little thing called love. Is it even worth my time? Do I have to invest my time, energy and resources into it? How can something which is believed to be enjoyable, hurt me so badly?
Where did I go wrong? Did I leave my heart in the hands of someone who didn’t know a thing about love?
No! I did the harm to myself. I made a mistake. I stopped loving myself. Why? Because no matter how loud someone may scream the three magic words (I Love You), they can’t love you more than you can do for yourself.
It is good to love and be loved. It is also good to fall in love, or grow into love…and errrmmm crawl into love. My advice? Simple. Before you venture into the business of love, make sure you love yourself first.
I didn’t create love. I came to meet it here. If you think you know anything about love that I should know, don’t hesitate to tell me.