Monthly Archives: January 2015

I Chased Love, But Found Something Else. Prt 2

“Once bitten, twice shy”, that’s what they say. I had made a mistake of being fooled by a girl once. And the consequence? It nearly resulted in my death.
So since that time, I resolved to “always use a long spoon, any time I was eating with the devil.” I will not trust any girl again….well except maybe the one I’ll marry, which of course, I’m still searching.
Well, enough of the vague talks. Let’s get back to business.
You remember the “angel” I promised to tell you more about? Oh, you don’t?  The one who saved my ass from the brutalities? Ahaaa, you now remember her? That’s great!
Can you imagine that since that night, I haven’t set my eyes on her again? I’m sure you are wondering whether she’s a ghost or something. Errrrrrmmmm….I can’t say that for a fact. Well, she gave me her phone number, and we have been talking and chating since.
Yes, she is beautiful, kind-hearted and an epitome of fashionable elegance, but I didn’t want us to get so intimate.  I was still treading cautiously. I didn’t want to be “fooled” by her good qualities, and fall for her too.
There’s this Nigerian proverb that I love so well, “if you wake up one morning and your cock begins to chase you, you must run because you may never know if it has grown teeth overnight.” Funny huh?
But I’ll not simply drive away a good girl, just because some girl somewhere somehow broke my heart and stole my dignity. I have to give this girl a chance. After all, no two persons are the same, not even siamese twins.
I started a long chat with her over the phone. The details? I can’t disclose all. The long and short of it is that I wanted to see her, preferrably in her house. My mission there? Well to thank her personally. Her answer? Quite simple. She was thinking about it, and if I’m lucky, I will get her answer early in the morning.
Wow! What a girl! I kept praying and the same time rehearsing what I was going to tell her. I was so much drunk in this thought to the extend that I couldn’t sleep throughout the night.
Early in the next morning, I received a message from my “angel.” In fact, her message woke me up. Eh, but I thought I said I couldn’t sleep throughout the night? Oh, I did, but for a short while.
I couldn’t even wait for another second to read her message. This is how she put her message, ” at 11am, there will be no one at home.” Wow, what an opportunity. I took my bath, breakfast and any other thing that needed to be taken.
By the time I finished my preparation, it was 10:30 am, so I set of. Since she gave me her house address, I didn’t have much of a problem locating it. Amazingly, I got to her house at exactly 11:01am. I knocked, and knocked and knocked, but it was dead silent. No response! Ah, where could this girl be, by this time? Has she forgotten our appointment? Didn’t she tell me there will be no one at home by 11am? …..wait a minute! Or the “no-one at home” included herself? OMG. What was I thinking?
Their gate was locked. Windows closed. Not even a lizard was in the house. I stood there disappointed. Eh, could this be another deception? I took my phone, and read her message, over and over again. Should I call her? Should I text her? Should I forget about her? Should I go back?
Well, something dramatic happened, but let me rest a while and read your comments, while I prepare to tell you the part 3 of my love story.


I Chased Love, But Found Something Else

Love? It can sometimes be a pain in the ass. Forgive my sincerity. Why do I have to suffer for something which is believed to be sweet? Is it really worth it?
Okay! Enough of the silly questions. Let me get straight to the story.
I was taking a stroll one cold evening. I was getting bored with loneliness, so I decided to go out and see if I can get a “debeaking partner.” Don’t ask me what that means.
I’m sure you are itching to know whether I got one. Yes, I did. But…hmmm. This is the part you have to pay extra attention. I ain’t gonna repeat myself.
I saw this gorgeous lady, and trust me, it was love at first sight. It was as if we’ve known ourselves since the beginning of the world, but the truth is, that was the first time of seeing her.
I saw a kind of joy in her bright eyes that couldn’t be explained. Her smile, awww so infectious. I felt alive that very moment. It was like, until I met her, my life has been paused and it is now being played.
I couldn’t believe myself that I had won the heart, mind and soul (but definitely not the body) of this pretty lady. I was literally singing for joy in my heart.
I could recount the number of less beautiful ladies I have chased and wooed, all in the name of I-Don’t-Want-To-Be-Alone, but couldn’t get. I have now realised why some folks say that a shoe that’s meant for you will be worn without any struggles.
The few minutes we spent talking seem to me like the best time I had spend on the planet earth.
I asked a lot of funny and witty questions, and trust me, there wasn’t even a single one that she didn’t smile, giggle or laugh.
I guess I was talking too much. But she didn’t look like she was getting bored or something. We were standing there alone, in a compromising posture.
I saw someone approaching, so I thought I will give a break and allow this stranger to pass, so that I can continue my tortuous sermon on love, to my new found friend. But this didn’t happen.
This man got to where we were standing. He looked at us and passed by without even a sigh.
So I decided to continue my sweet talks, but this time, with more romantic words and gestures to win the heart of my soon-to-be mistress.
But something strange happened. The lady’s face changed as soon as the man passed by. A million-dollar question arrested my mind. She was shaking. Her mouth was opened wide. She wanted to tell me something, but she was too afraid to speak. Just as I was about to ask her about her sudden change, I felt a sharp pain at the back of my head, and a loud noise simultaneously.
I couldn’t see anything nor hear even the loudest scream that my lady gave. Sorry, that’s what I thought. I thought she was my lady. I thought she loved me. I thought she was so much into me.
I now understand this saying well, “something that’s too sweet to be true, is too sweet to be true.” I didn’t know she was just playing with my fragile heart. She had arranged with that anonymous stranger to steal from me.
She, together with the man, stole my shirt, my shorts, my shoes, and most importantly, my heart.
I woke up some minutes or so later, without anything on. Oh yes, nothing. Except for the blood that was oozing out profusely, nothing was found on me. A very kind angel (a charming lady) covered me and brought me home.
I went out in search of love, but I came without love and my dignity. But before you tell me whatever you wanna tell me, just wait for the part 2 of my story, which talks about the “angel” that had pitty on me.
What? You can’t wait? Then give me your comment while you warm up for the second part.